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Edgar Balthazar

Otherwise Known As: Old Picklepuss (By the Kittens)
Premiered in: The Aristocats (1970)
Voiced By: Roddy Maude-Roxby

While Walt Disney himself did not have a direct hand in The Aristocats, it is the final film to receive his approval shortly before his death. Rather funny really given that he had a rather low opinion on cats in general, casting them as villains at every viable opportunity that he could. Still, it makes me wonder how The Aristocats would have turned out had he lived long enough to help in its production, more specifically in the creation of its villain, Edgar.

Edgar… Oh boy Edgar…

If I had one word to describe Edgar it would be “stupid”. If I were to go with two it would be “unbelievably stupid”. The man is a butler and makes The Aristocats the only film that I’ve seen where I can wholeheartedly say that the butler not only did the crime but that he did it for the most inanely idiotic reason known to man. True, Edgar had been a longtime butler to a once famous, and now quite rich, retired opera singer and had thought that he would come before her beloved cats when it came to the inheritance of her estate but…

They’re cats. While I’m not so certain of the legal mumbo jumbo when it comes to animals inheriting stuff from people, I’m fairly sure that Edgar would have to be their guardian by proxy. Ergo, he would still get a good chunk of the inheritance he just couldn’t go willy-nilly with it and neglect Duchess and her kittens. At first, I felt slightly sorry for the man as its clear the woman is slightly off her rocker given that she’s leaving jewels, bonds, her mansion, and even her freaking country chateau to her cats but then something happened which quickly changed my mind.

Edgar spoke.

The man… no, the fool, actually believes that the old adage of cats having nine lives to be literal thus he thought that each cat would live about a hundred human years and all but guaranteeing that he’d never see a dime of the inheritance until he was a doting old man himself.

There’s… there’s just no words to describe that level of stupidity. But wait! It gets even better! Rather than doing something sensible like simply poisoning the cats and making it look like they perished to some strange sickness, he drugs them and takes them out to the countryside where he planned to simply drop them off so far from home that they’d never make it back on their own. They did by the way, somewhere between two, maybe three days later. Of course, this was with the help of a smart alley cat by name of Abraham deLacey Giuseppe Casey Thomas O’Malley.

Edgar has no minions and frankly fits below the category of minions himself. For you see, upon the return of Duchess and her kittens, Edgar again snatches them up and instead of offing them then and there (as he had tossed them into an oven for a brief period), he decides to send them to Timbuktu.

Timbuktu.

I suppose it’s better than Albuquerque but really… The only highlight of Edgar’s poor attempt at villainy, which earns him a negative five in my book mind you, is that his ineptitude sends him to Timbuktu in place of the cats. Of course, given that the mode of transport was a trunk, it is generally presumed that he likely suffocated and died long before reaching Africa.

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