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Alameda Slim

Otherwise Known As: Yancy O’Del
Premiered in: Home on the Range (2004)
Voiced By: Randy Quaid

Though it was planned to originally be the last of the traditionally animated films by Disney as they opted to begin a trend of strictly three-dimensional animation, I can’t help but feel that Home on the Range was what killed any chance of traditional animation to continue on as far as theatrical releases are concerned. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a cute movie for kids but in the grand scheme of Disney animated films it just… It just doesn’t hold up to any of them. It makes for a good watch but I can’t even consider the thought of rewatching it again and sad as it is to say, it’s all because of the film’s villain, a cattle rustler by name of Alameda Slim.

Oh man… What can I say about Alameda Slim that doesn’t paint him out to be both a lunatic and an idiot at the same time? Well, first off, the whole cattle rustling business of his? He did it not for the money, though that was a major bonus for him and one that he adored greatly, but for revenge against the ranches he had worked at previously. You see, ol’ Alameda had a particular… quirk… when he worked as a farmhand and no employer could stand it for long and so they sent him packing and, in revenge, Alameda rustled off with the cattle of those ranches and bought them under an alias once they went under auction. Yet what was this quirk that so many abhorred, that one thing that could drive a man to such villainy as cattle rustling?

Yodeling.

Yes. You read correctly. Yodeling. How much yodeling? Well not just enough for him to be fired for constantly doing it but doing it so much that he managed to unlock the rare and illustrious skill of yodeling that hypnotizes cattle.

I… I just… What?

No, seriously, what?

Ugh, besides that, Alameda Slim’s minions, and be assured that is a stretch of the word, are the Willie Brothers, blonde triplets who are the stereotypical country bumpkin right down to accented voices and though exceeding a level of idiocy I’ve never seen before in any minion before or after them. I sincerely believe that Alameda Slim keeps them around is solely for the reason that they happen to be his nephews and… well honestly, who else could really stand his yodeling for long?

Alameda Slim gets caught in the end and… no, I’m sorry, I can’t let it go. How, just how, does his yodeling hypnotize cattle? It’s not like the pied piper with mice or something where they simply follow the music to the source wherever it may go. Their eyes get all wonky like it was Kaa hypnotizing them and, in some cases, their tongues hang limply out of their mouths as they prance, freaking prance, after Alameda Slim! He even got them to perform choreographed dancing based on how he yodeled! Just… why?!

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